i forgot a title.

i’m at beaner’s. studying my life away. then i am getting my hair cut tonight. AH. it has needed a good trim for a while now.. i think i will just be mad once i finally get it done…

a few thoughts:

pumpkin show is officially starting tomorrow!!! SO wish i could’ve gone, but it’s ok!

i really like my scarf i made.

it’s nice when people tell you good things about your boyfriend and people you know.

i need a job. like FOR REAL guys.

so, i must go. i am supposed to be studying for my philosophy exam… gross… 

this picture makes me laugh, out loud. hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

well. i wish i had more to say, but nobody really sees this anyways, so it’s ok.

uh, i’m real mad guys.

so in my science class we are supposed to look at our footprint on this earth, take some quiz online, and then it will show us the amount of earth’s it would take to sustain us if we all lived the way i live (or you, or whoever is doing the quiz)…

anyways, this guy went on this rant about survival of the fittest and if we are giving people $/resources (aka, showing him how to fish), then we are depleting our resources ourselves and thus totally screwing ourselves over because everything sucks already… (totally paraphrase of what he said..)

ok well, you know me. i am NOT just going to let him say that. i mean, i kind of agreed on some stuff and saw his point.. it is just WRONG. we are so blessed. it’s our obligation to give it back…  maybe not throwing $ at people, but we MUST help them. we are being ‘judged’ on THIS.

so, i found some stuff on the matter. please read:

• 923 million people across the world are hungry. ³
• Every day, almost 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes–one child every five seconds. ¹²
• In essence, hunger is the most extreme form of poverty, where individuals or families cannot afford to meet their most basic need for food. 1

• Hunger manifests itself in many ways other than starvation and famine. Most poor people who battle hunger deal with chronic undernourishment and vitamin or mineral deficiencies, which result in stunted growth, weakness and heightened susceptibility to illness. 1

• Countries in which a large portion of the population battles hunger daily are usually poor and often lack the social safety nets we enjoy, such as soup kitchens, food stamps, and job training programs. When a family that lives in a poor country cannot grow enough food or earn enough money to buy food, there is nowhere to turn for help. ¹

http://www.bread.org/learn/hunger-basics/hunger-facts-international.html

 

ok. that’s all for today. i’m in shock. plus i have way too much studying to do.. guh.

WARNING: rather lame post.

it’s raining.

i’m in the library.  yesterday was stupid. i think i did well on my mass comm exam, most likely not as well on my science exam.

i am REALLY excited about the Pumpkin Show!   i had to stop studying yesterday to flip my futon and remake it (blankets, sheets and all)… it felt nice once i did that.

other news: i miss Rio Grande. Tiffany is really funny.. lol.   and i rarely see Jacob anymore.   oh yeah, stupid fights are stupid, and people should just say things instead of walking away…. also– i miss not thinking the world is going to end if i make a wrong decision, and also, praying.

B-stud tonight, hope it goes well…

this is a stupid update, but oh yeah, there were these British folk sitting next to me here in the library, i really enjoyed listening to them. lol

did i mention my grandmother is going to Las Vegas in like 2 weeks, and i desperately wanna go?  oh, and i have a job at petsmart, yay for that.

love.

it’s too hard sometimes

 

before i write anything, i must announce that i think this man who is sitting near me in Beaner’s (who is kinda of a larger person) just let one out that has smelled the whole place up.. sick. i’m gaging.

moving on…

ok, so lately I have just been BLAH. WHY??  i shouldn’t be feeling like this. people love me. Jesus loves me. i have plans. i have ideas. i have dreams. I HAVE GOALS!  but guess what.. sometimes i don’t think i include God in any of this. like, i SAY i do, but do i really??  i do not know!!!  and this reality is so frustrating to me. it’s like, what in the WORLD do i do?? how do i fix this??

i need to trust God on this one.. but how can i trust Him when i feel like i barely know Him these days? it’s too hard sometimes…

AND to top it all off, it makes relationships suck. i feel like i am losing touch with everyone. i want to have so much time with people and i want people to want to hang out with me.. but why? for myself. not for God. like, i know by hanging out with people i am not NOT honoring God… however, i just feel like, i dont know. i feel i am very selfish..

i am really sorry to be letting this all out on WordPress..but i am in Beaner’s right now (like ALWAYS) and i just need to let some stuff out…haha OH! i decided i am going to make more purposful time with people. no more of this trying to ‘fit people in’ crap… i am going to make plans. plans with people. plans by myself. plans with God.  i NEED to.

i still do not have a job. i’m mad. why? i am a good person. i am a GOOD employee. srsly peeps. what’s up!!!  i hope atleast PetSmart will hire me… :/  

why do i sometimes feel like i have lost touch with God? why don’t i make more time with Him. what does that even mean?? What do i even need to do in order to have a real relationship with God? i mean, i THOUGHT i knew once. but i guess i was wrong… i am just really struggling to FEEL and KNOW God’s unconditional love for me.. the love he showed when he sent Jesus here to die for ME… and even that, sometimes, is hard for me to believe…

it’s just.. too… hard… sometimes.

I’m in love with my major. :)

today i had my first day of my sophomore year of college. i mean, to most it’s like “who cares??” but yeah.. it’s a big to me. needless to say, i was freaking out about it because i hadn’t actually bought my books yet, and my tuition wasn’t paid for… and i just didn’t even know where my classes were or even my schedule. basically, i was screwed. however, it all turned out ok! yay for that! i basically just looked up my schedule yesterday and figured out where my classes were in my head.

i woke up at 8:00 this morning because i live farther away from school this year. (for those who DIDN’T know, i am living with my friend Tiffany and her family at their house in Maumee, OH which is basically only like 10-15 minutes away.. OK! sometimes 20.)  i feel terrible about getting up so early. first off, i didn’t get much sleep last night, BUT then!!! i get in the shower this morning and i didn’t even realize that Ori (Tiff’s sister) was up. i think maybe she needed to get in the bathroom to get ready.. but i’m not sure. nevertheless, i still feel terrible about getting up and disturbing everyone with my clanks and blowdrying of my hair this morning. if you read this, I’M SORRY CABACUM’S!!!

i leave around 8:50 to venture to campus. jake advised that i arrive extra early since it’s the first day of school and that i should see if my classes are still where they said they were on my schedule. luckily, they were!   but anyway! i get to campus and there were so many flipping cars there, i was so ticked. i FINALLY found a parking spot. my first class was mass communication and society. it was basically AMAZING!  i met a girl there and she’s pretty cool! i am just so excited to actually have people in my classes with my same major or interested in the things that i am. see, before i was in political science. when i would tell people about my interests being writing and communication and how we all interact, they just looked at me with a repulsed look and asked ‘WHY??’… so yeah, IT WAS NICE!!!  my teacher is hilarious. he has some sweet slides to go along with his lecture. i mean, Flava Flav was on it. oh and ALSO Jerry Springer. so i mean, COME ON, that just SCREAMS awesome. the class is way packed though. 110 students. when it’s only supposed to have 100… sucks for him. he read every single name today for role. actually, he got halfway through it and someone finally opened the door outside and a mass amount of people came flooding in the room…poor guy.  btw!!! he asked if anyone had a blog in there, and i was the ONLY person. what has happened to the world?? i mean seriously!! do these people not have any THOUGHTS?!?!  guess not..

after that, i sat in the lawn of Centennial Mall. and basically just fell asleep for a bit. i have like an hour and fifteen minute break between my first two classes on monday’s and wednesday’s… so today. i thought i would take advantage of the time for a much needed nap. YAY!

my second class as News Writing. i actually got there and didn’t think i was supposed to be in there because it was a class full of sweet Mac Desktops.. i mean, i guess i just never thought that news writing would involve the internet… or computer..or something..  i guess i’m an idiot.  we had to tell the whole class who we were and what we were all about. i think people think im the crazy Christian chick.. see, i told them that i wanted to in PR/journalism for missions orgs… and that i just wanted to bring light all the things that the media DOESN’T bring up such as homelessness and that it CAN be helped, or poverty in the world… just STUFF. and yea…  i don’t know. i just hope people can see that Jesus is cool.. who cares if they like me.

third class=SNOOZE FEST.   it’s philosophy. contemporary moral problems.. EW. i mean, it sounded cool… but then i got in there.. and jordan and i BOTH agreed that our teacher is one of those guys that is just SO smart that you cannot even talk to him…  it sucks, but i guess i will learn about the problems in the world??  who knows.  i just pray i don’t fail. haha

 

NOW, i am at Beaners ( a coffee place around here). it’s really not that busy.. which is nice. i mean, i basically go in my own world when i’m here anyways since i listen to my ipod and get on the internet and such..  but yeah. i love it.    i just don’t think it smart of me to drive alllllll the way back home to just have to come BACK in town for Zakuska ( a swwwweeet bible study i go to on Monday’s) you know??   and like, seriously. EVERYDAY i have something to do in the evenings that requires me to be back around campus.. so there is just NO point. i will either go to the library, hang at someone’s room or come to beaner’s. and today the choice was Beaner’s since Jake is working.    he’s so cute making his coffee and wearing his little orange Beaner’s t-shirt. lol. 

AMAZING NEWS!!!  today, once i arrived in my News Writing class after deciding i WAS supposed to be in there, haha, i got on the Mac (which i have TOTALLY decided i NEED a macbook…) and checked out my financial aid situation. i will only have to pay roughly $1,300.00 this semester.. and the same for next semester!! God is SO cool. i mean, this time a few weeks ago i had given up the thought of coming to UT again because my appeal hadn’t been approved. then i went to Zakuska, we prayed specifically for me to be able to go to UT and to be apart of whatever ministry God needs me in HERE at Toledo… and the next day, BAM! it was approved!!! (after much laying down the law at the Rocket Solution Central haha)

and yeah, that was my day in a very LARGE nutshell!   ugh. there is a girl her with her macbook.. just taughting me with it bc i don’t have one.. :/   i MUST get one.

well, i guess i am going to look at people’s pics on facebook. OH YEAH!! AHHHHH CONGRATS JOLIE! i am SO SO SO happy for you!

love. jo