“When there’s nothing left to burn..”

“…you have to set yourself on fire”

this morning i was listening to some music and mainly the music i was listening to was Derek Webb. ever hear of him? if not, go look him up and listen to his music all the time. I guarantee he will wake up your soul and capture just how awful we are at lovers of God.

moving on, as i was listening to his music, a few songs popped out in my head: “wedding dress” and “t-shirts” being two i just kept focusing on.

the lyrics of these songs really strike to the core of who i am. i am an awful person. i fail every single day. not to say that this is bad, but i just cannot BELIEVE that Jesus loves me, especially when i was his enemy. when i hated him. when i was completely opposite of him.

that’s love.

then, i began to think about the fact that Christians are the #1 reason for atheism. now, i don’t know about you, but when i heard that i was rather ashamed of it. but at the same time, i began to get very full of pride and thought, ‘well that’s just about THOSE Christians.’   and in the same breath i began to realize that i was being JUST LIKE those Christians.

from this thought, the words from “T-shirts” really resonate in my sinful heart:

they’ll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they’ll know us by the way we point and stare
at anyone whose sin looks worse than ours
who cannot hide the scars of this curse that we all bare

they’ll know us by our picket lines and signs
they’ll know us by the pride we hide behind
like anyone on earth is living right
and isn’t that why Jesus died
not to make us think we’re right

chorus
when love, love, love
is what we should be known for
love, love, love
it’s the how and it’s the why
we live and breathe and we die

they’ll know us by reasons we divide
and how we can’t seem to unify
because we’ve gotta sing songs a certain style
or we’ll walk right down that aisle
and just leave ‘em all behind

they’ll know us by the billboards that we make
just turning God’s words to cheap clichés
says “what part of murder don’t you understand?”
but we hate our fellow man
and point a finger at his grave

chorus
they’ll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they’ll know us by the way we point and stare
telling ‘em their sins are worse than ours
thinking we can hide our scars
beneath these t-shirts that we wear

anyone else feel like we are missing it?? for me, BOTH HANDS ARE RAISED.  how did we get this far? how have we completely missed what we were put on this beautiful creation called earth for?? God created us for HIM. to GLORIFY him. he didn’t need us, but rather he WANTED us. he wanted us to show HIS LOVE to the nations, to the ends of the earth. But, what are we doing? we are doing nothing but hating others. being selfish. not giving to the poor. even if we are the poor, we should still be giving.  we aren’t having prayer lives. we aren’t spending our time with the Lord like we should. I am saying WE because i am completely included in this hypocracy.

the Lord has given us ETERNAL LIFE if we have declared that He is our Lord and Savior. and what have we done with it?? we’ve hoarded it for ourselves, and then, showed everyone who isn’t a Christian, or EVEN TO OUR OWN BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST, that we just don’t have time for them. we are disgusted by them. their sin is worse than ours.

i am ashamed.

we were made for radical love. radical lives FOR Jesus. radical compassion. and radical obedience. but we aren’t doing anything of the sort.

another bit of lyrics that struck home were those from “Wedding Dress”:

I am a whore i do confess
but i put you on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i’m a prodigal with no way home
but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
though i don’t trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
i am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that i would take a little cash
over your very flesh and blood

the Lord loves me SO MUCH, and yet i run to ‘other lovers’ instead of Him. how awful His love is more radiant and extravagant than any other person’s love for me could ever be, even the love for myself. I don’t fully trust the Lord with every aspect of my life, and yet, HE created my life. and HE knows what’s going to happen.

i can’t help but feel that i am not getting it. i try and try and try, and i am just not living my life full out for Christ.

i read ‘Crazy Love’ this summer, and throughout the book, Francis Chan speaks of hypocracy and radical love and how different the two are. He said that we went back and read the Gospels all the way through as if he had never read them before. The reason: to see what it was really all about.   And, he came up with one crucial point…  God wants all or nothing.

and i am NOT giving Him all. so that means i am giving Him something that is as good as nothing.

i just need change..

lovely

i am just an old soul. end of story.   so here is this video clip i found that i just ADORE.

 

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/index/?o_cid=mediaroomlink&cid=63856

pessimism.. NICE GUYS, real nice.

all i have to say right now is that i am really fed up with seeing people’s reaction to this election…

honestly– this was the FIRST time i ever voted, and i just hate how it has effected me. after voting i felt so American. sounds stupid, but i did. AND WHY SHOULDN’T I???

i am rather disgusted at how people are so quick to give in.. so quick to say “the devil is workin! Lord help us!!”  is this how Jesus would REALLY want us to be acting guys??? NO.

i had a terrible day yesterday. i couldn’t even get over the fact that so many ‘Christians’ were harrassing Obama in their status’.  Well i have news for them, you should feel pretty darn LUCKY and BLESSED you live in America, because it this were another country, you could be killed for voicing your opionion as such.

as for the whole matter that the world is ending and that the ‘anti-christ’ has taken over… GET OVER IT. i am so offended to say that i am a Christian because of some people on this matter.  no matter who you voted for, you are an AMERICAN. You are blessed! you are free! you have a right to vote! if you didn’t, that’s your fault!…

as i voted i thought about those in all the other places in the world who CAN’T vote, and who can’t even do anything they really WANT to do.. how awful?? and here we are, spoiled as HECK, and complain BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION over who our president is.

well guess what, we are still AMERICANS! we are still free. You can still voice your opinion (even if it’s very UN-Christian)… Have more faith in America people.

or rather, have more faith in OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN! Romans 8:31 declares:  ‘If God is for us, who can be against us??”

 

NOBODY! wow. that should be enough, but it isn’t. and that breaks my heart.

whoever you voted for, whoever i voted for, they are people.. they deserve respect.. and so do all the OTHER people in the world who are just trying to Praise GOD. OK?

so that was my RANT, if you will. i’m not posting an awful opinion filled with disrespect on my Facebook..

good day.