“what the fat are you thinking?!” –David Crowder

so i really need to get BACK into the swing of things. the swing of school. the swing of doing my laundry. the swing of WANTING to go to class.  i MUST do these things. butttttt, i don’t wanna. flat out, i DO NOT want to.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1767910

enjoy. it’s really lame most likely.. but i get a kick out of it.

also– i think i may need to go somewhere else… eek. scary scary scary scary!

also also– i am WAY blessed beyond belief. and i am really working on eliminating some of the NOISE in my life.    anddddd, i am voting on Tuesday. as should you!

i forgot a title.

i’m at beaner’s. studying my life away. then i am getting my hair cut tonight. AH. it has needed a good trim for a while now.. i think i will just be mad once i finally get it done…

a few thoughts:

pumpkin show is officially starting tomorrow!!! SO wish i could’ve gone, but it’s ok!

i really like my scarf i made.

it’s nice when people tell you good things about your boyfriend and people you know.

i need a job. like FOR REAL guys.

so, i must go. i am supposed to be studying for my philosophy exam… gross… 

this picture makes me laugh, out loud. hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

well. i wish i had more to say, but nobody really sees this anyways, so it’s ok.

uh, i’m real mad guys.

so in my science class we are supposed to look at our footprint on this earth, take some quiz online, and then it will show us the amount of earth’s it would take to sustain us if we all lived the way i live (or you, or whoever is doing the quiz)…

anyways, this guy went on this rant about survival of the fittest and if we are giving people $/resources (aka, showing him how to fish), then we are depleting our resources ourselves and thus totally screwing ourselves over because everything sucks already… (totally paraphrase of what he said..)

ok well, you know me. i am NOT just going to let him say that. i mean, i kind of agreed on some stuff and saw his point.. it is just WRONG. we are so blessed. it’s our obligation to give it back…  maybe not throwing $ at people, but we MUST help them. we are being ‘judged’ on THIS.

so, i found some stuff on the matter. please read:

• 923 million people across the world are hungry. ³
• Every day, almost 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes–one child every five seconds. ¹²
• In essence, hunger is the most extreme form of poverty, where individuals or families cannot afford to meet their most basic need for food. 1

• Hunger manifests itself in many ways other than starvation and famine. Most poor people who battle hunger deal with chronic undernourishment and vitamin or mineral deficiencies, which result in stunted growth, weakness and heightened susceptibility to illness. 1

• Countries in which a large portion of the population battles hunger daily are usually poor and often lack the social safety nets we enjoy, such as soup kitchens, food stamps, and job training programs. When a family that lives in a poor country cannot grow enough food or earn enough money to buy food, there is nowhere to turn for help. ¹

http://www.bread.org/learn/hunger-basics/hunger-facts-international.html

 

ok. that’s all for today. i’m in shock. plus i have way too much studying to do.. guh.

WARNING: rather lame post.

it’s raining.

i’m in the library.  yesterday was stupid. i think i did well on my mass comm exam, most likely not as well on my science exam.

i am REALLY excited about the Pumpkin Show!   i had to stop studying yesterday to flip my futon and remake it (blankets, sheets and all)… it felt nice once i did that.

other news: i miss Rio Grande. Tiffany is really funny.. lol.   and i rarely see Jacob anymore.   oh yeah, stupid fights are stupid, and people should just say things instead of walking away…. also– i miss not thinking the world is going to end if i make a wrong decision, and also, praying.

B-stud tonight, hope it goes well…

this is a stupid update, but oh yeah, there were these British folk sitting next to me here in the library, i really enjoyed listening to them. lol

did i mention my grandmother is going to Las Vegas in like 2 weeks, and i desperately wanna go?  oh, and i have a job at petsmart, yay for that.

love.

it’s too hard sometimes

 

before i write anything, i must announce that i think this man who is sitting near me in Beaner’s (who is kinda of a larger person) just let one out that has smelled the whole place up.. sick. i’m gaging.

moving on…

ok, so lately I have just been BLAH. WHY??  i shouldn’t be feeling like this. people love me. Jesus loves me. i have plans. i have ideas. i have dreams. I HAVE GOALS!  but guess what.. sometimes i don’t think i include God in any of this. like, i SAY i do, but do i really??  i do not know!!!  and this reality is so frustrating to me. it’s like, what in the WORLD do i do?? how do i fix this??

i need to trust God on this one.. but how can i trust Him when i feel like i barely know Him these days? it’s too hard sometimes…

AND to top it all off, it makes relationships suck. i feel like i am losing touch with everyone. i want to have so much time with people and i want people to want to hang out with me.. but why? for myself. not for God. like, i know by hanging out with people i am not NOT honoring God… however, i just feel like, i dont know. i feel i am very selfish..

i am really sorry to be letting this all out on WordPress..but i am in Beaner’s right now (like ALWAYS) and i just need to let some stuff out…haha OH! i decided i am going to make more purposful time with people. no more of this trying to ‘fit people in’ crap… i am going to make plans. plans with people. plans by myself. plans with God.  i NEED to.

i still do not have a job. i’m mad. why? i am a good person. i am a GOOD employee. srsly peeps. what’s up!!!  i hope atleast PetSmart will hire me… :/  

why do i sometimes feel like i have lost touch with God? why don’t i make more time with Him. what does that even mean?? What do i even need to do in order to have a real relationship with God? i mean, i THOUGHT i knew once. but i guess i was wrong… i am just really struggling to FEEL and KNOW God’s unconditional love for me.. the love he showed when he sent Jesus here to die for ME… and even that, sometimes, is hard for me to believe…

it’s just.. too… hard… sometimes.